Long hair and politeness!

Ishaan gets mistaken for a girl every where we go because of his long hair!. Yesterday I took him to buy new clothes to a large store and they directed me to the girls section. I see the look on their faces when I say, “He is a boy with long hair. Can you please show us the boy’s section?” The other day we went to fine dining at a five star with their Dad who was visiting us in Pune from New Delhi, where he lives. The steward pulled out the chair for Ishaan to sit and then asked him, “And miss what drink would you like?” I have watched my insides during these moments and seen how I need to keep honoring the choices my kids make in the face of such mistaken notions about what, who and how of life and keep working at removing all traces of ’embarrassment’ ‘discomfort’ ‘self-judgement’ ‘moralization’ etc whenever such situations come up. Once we were visiting friends and Ishaan was sitting in a hammock and a dear old lady close to eighty years of age, came up to him and seeing a young boy put her hand out and said politely, “Hello young man!” Ishaan refused to give his hand by saying, “Hi, but I don’t like to shake hands.”. I see how such incidents are not acceptable to others socially, but I  only work towards making myself stronger and clearer that I will honor my children and their needs. I don’t even give any explanations in such cases, unless the people ask me to explain. If my kids ask me to explain why people expect such things of them, then I have a conversation and tell them, “That is the way they were raised by their families and school, they are just being polite and nice to you and nothing else.” Some homes they like going to, prefer that the kids come with combed hair at least 🙂 I have asked Ishaan, if he would rather not go to those houses. He himself has then said, “I like them and so I don’t mind combing my hair for them..” 🙂 


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